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How to Start Drinking Coffee.

A step-by-step guide with dating metaphors.

Coffee is great. It gives you energy, has a unique and wonderful taste and has health benefits (so long as you don’t over-do it). But it is definitely an acquired taste. For most of us, drinking coffee doesn’t start until later in life, but some of us are still looking for a way in. Well look no further, here is your step-by-step guide to becoming a coffeeholic.  

Hot Chocolate | Feel the Burn

First and foremost, let’s get you used to drinking warm beverages. The easiest warm beverage to start with is a good old fashioned hot chocolate. As a child, there was no better feeling than spending a snow day playing outside, then coming in and guzzling down a warm, sweet hot chocolate with floating marshmallows. At the time, it seemed like a reward you got to enjoy while letting your muscles defrost in your home. Little did you know, this was a key step in training your mouth to one day handle the heat that comes with a hot cup of coffee. If your childhood included hot chocolate, move to step 2. If it did not, then head on to your local grocery store to pick up some instant hot cocoa and try having some hot chocolate in the morning every other day for a week. You’re now playing the field.

Black Tea | Bitter Sweet 

Now that we have you accustomed to the heat, let’s introduce you to two more key components of coffee, the bitterness and the caffeine. This is the first big boy step. Tea is a lot less harsh of an initial taste than coffee, but still hits a similar flavor profile. Starting with herbal or green teas is fine, but we’re really trying to make our way to black tea. A nice Ceylon or Earl Grey will not only get you accustomed to the bitterness that may come with your first cups of coffee, but will also introduce you to the wonderful drug that is caffeine. Black tea has about half the caffeine of a brewed cup of coffee, but still certainly enough for you to feel an energy boost. As a bonus, it will also introduce you to the world of teas, which is an equally rewarding endeavor. 

Mocha | Hug It Out

Our mouths are burnt, our tongues are confused and we’re wired. Perfect. Time to put the floaties on and waddle around in the shallow end. Our first introduction to coffee comes in the form of a mocha, the beverage that is part coffee and part hot chocolate. Its like when you first start drinking alcohol, you want the effects, you just don’t want the taste. Hot chocolate is your chaser. The coffee only plays a supporting role in this ensemble, so its an easy and delicious beverage that allows your tongue to have a brief handshake with coffee before hugging it out with hot chocolate. 

Latte | But Do I Love You a Latte?

Okay so now you’ve had your first interaction with coffee, and you didn’t think the handshake was a big deal, yet for some reason, you just can’t get it out of your mind. You find yourself thirsty for more, but you don’t know if you’re ready to commit to going all the way just yet. Enter, the latte. You’re now testing the waters and seeing if you can swim, but more importantly, if you want to swim. Coffee is now playing the lead (how many metaphors can there be in one article…), but milk is right there by its side. It’s holding your hand in case you want to bail. It’s giving you a chance to see what a relationship with coffee might be like. 

Cappuccino |  And They Call It, Coffee Love

You’re hooked. You’re getting that warm, tingly feeling in your tongue and you’re thinking this might be it. This might be the one. Let’s see what all this relationship has to offer. Let’s try the cappuccino. At this point, you’re here to see the headliner. You’re accustomed to the bitterness, the caffeine is thrilling, and you can’t stop telling everyone how much you love coffee. The cappuccino is the perfect beverage to begin fine-tuning your coffee skills. 

Brewed Coffee | You Complete Me

Welcome to the rest of your life. Get used to seeing that coffee charge pop up on your credit card statements. You’ll sooner cut your Netflix subscription than you will your coffee allowance. But with this coffee addiction comes increased productivity, something to look forward to every morning, and a new ritual and skill you can constantly refine and learn more about. Coffee shops are now your mobile office. Brunch is a must. You can even post hilarious coffee memes on your social media like, “Don’t talk to me before I’ve had my coffee”, which everyone totally loves and doesn’t think is angsty. But the journey doesn’t have to stop here. This path is one of knowledge and experience, which means you can spend your whole life learning and mastering the art of coffee. So the question is, how far are you willing to go?