Chatting with a friend recently, they asked a question that I’ve spent time wondering about as well, “Can senior leaders have friends at work?” It’s reductive to pretend there’s one universal answer to this question, but most folks find it increasingly challenging to have friends at work as you get more senior. There are multiple factors at work, and it’s interesting to dig into it a bit.

The biggest reason is that your peers have already developed a full life outside of work. Earlier in their career folks tend to look for their work to serve a large role in their lives (employment, friends, a source of identity), but work typically plays a narrower role in their lives after they’ve been working for ten-plus years. They’re open to developing friendships at work, they just tend to get squeezed out by existing commitments.