As panicky and restless as I sound on the phone I am exactly the opposite in reality. I believe, I'm just eager to share the palate of thoughts that I have with the ones I feel closest to. Having said that, it doesn't imply that they understand every single time. Surprisingly, they seldom understand. Surprisingly, ANYBODY seldom understands. The fact is I am complicated. We all are. But I happen to realise that I am not easy to love. As hard as I will love others, it's a hundred percent harder to love me; or let others love me. Most times, what I feel, is that I am not even close to expressing what I actually feel within compared to what I share, with what you'll hear me say. The thoughts are so composed from inside, I exactly know the answers to most of my 'whys and hows', but it is excruciatingly that much difficult to put it out there.
Published: Jul 15, 2021