I failed at finishing the blog series I was preparing. Burnout hit me, hard and I had to take a long break. Feels bad but at the same time, one's mental health should always be a priority!

✨NEW EPISODE IS OUT ✨

Ep. 003: Burnout and Things I Learned in Therapy chronicles the time in 2021 when I finally burned out and ended up taking 5 weeks of stress off of work. We discuss what burnout is, common misconceptions of burnout, and short and long-term strategies learned via self-research, therapy, and career coaching.

https://candidandcringe.transistor.fm/episodes/003-burnout-and-things-i-learned-in-therapy

Launched a new site for the London Review Bookshop.

Working with the team at the London Review of Books on a new front- and back-end, along with a new user-friendly automated process to take print-ready files, format and publish them on the website. All whilst keeping the meticulous formatting and attention to detail from the paper. The new site was launched with over 17,500 articles and much more to read.

Suicidal Ideation: What It's Like Living With Suicidal Thoughts
Suicidal ideation is more of a problem than many people think. To help highlight this, this article includes two personal experiences
https://unwantedlife.me/suicidal-ideation-what-its-like-living-with-suicidal-thoughts

I have a lot of trauma in my body, not all of it is my own. I'm constantly struggling to stay grounded. I've been noticing more about my nervous system and my soul the more I listen. It feels like I had a nerve pinched around my reflexes, I was irritated at my jumpiness but on a spiritual level I knew it came from some place real deep within me but also beyond me. Nowadays I make rituals when something like this happens. Here's what came of it: 

Tend to the senses of survival:

[1x a day]

[[TASTE]] something that FEELS good when it is inside your body. [my body loves smoked salmon, maybe you have a family comfort food or something sweet/savory you can prepare]

Close your eyes and [[LISTEN]] tune out all things mechanical, find a natural occurring sound to focus on. Birds chirping, perhaps its water flowing downstream or maybe the wind. [this task becomes easier when you step outside]

[[SMELL]] something that brings you pleasure.

[[TOUCH]] something with profound texture/shape [imagine your hands covered in eyeballs, now "see" the object with your hands in as many ways possible, I have heard the imagery for this may be unsettling for some]

Lastly [[SEE]]: Find the beauty in something ordinary. [Spiderwebs with morning dew are my go to this season, fall leaves have beautiful detail, cracks in places, clearly not belonging, i find resonance here...]

Pay attention to how your body feels in each of these experiences.

Focus your attention solely on what it is you're doing for at least one minute for each sense, honor these interactions with your attention. Thank your senses, each of them has the potential to warn us of danger.

Anxiety within itself does not feel good. But "anxiety" can be a good thing.  It means our bodies are noticing a threat and reacting.  I personally think it has a bad rap...just another 'Social Norm'
This grounding practice honors each of our senses.  We thank them for being so diligent in warning us of potential danger.

Because our bodies often sense danger before it is present  this means we can react before our minds can even weigh in on the matter.

In developing a deeper connection with your senses you may be able shorten your reaction time in duress and overall ability to begin self regulating in a more instinctual manner.
We should make an honest effort to say hello to each sensory mechanism we have access to in an intentional way.

I recommend spending at least one minute with each of your senses on a daily basis.


* This was in one part a grounding exercise and I needed to develop a healthier relationship to my nervous system and my senses as I react to possible threats. My body is always warning me and often it isn't needed. [Trauma] but I realized I was harboring resentments down somewhere deep against parts of myself. I'm trying to learn to love myself and my resentments are inhibiting it. 

[published google thang] https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSJ7zwW_aPm2igiPs4fepYYezqItn_bxrRC-Ymd8JMDVotFq3-0n3RK6HKsk4E3EJYGw_PlRr2NQQnW/pub